Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
