you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
