I just made out with a guy for $7.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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