Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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