She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
