i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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