My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
