Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Shame is for Republicans.
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