Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
