she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize