I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
