I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she told me i tasted like america
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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