check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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