After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
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Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
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I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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