I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
