And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize