I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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