He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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