I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
