38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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