weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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