It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
