doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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