you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
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Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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