I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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