There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
