Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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