you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
