Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
