i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
