My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
