you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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