I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
