Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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