yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
