I will die if light touches me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
