3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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