dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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