Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
im on a boat
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