We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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