some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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