dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
