they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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