I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button