My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I made him laugh his dick is mine