I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
