Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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