I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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