We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
