Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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