According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
did i just pee glitter
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