there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize