My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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