My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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