If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
