He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
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I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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