whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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