How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
