just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I touched a dick in church today
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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