Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
