guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
