I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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